Guilt

Lost

Have you ever felt so bad

for not feeling bad

when you really should?

man's best friend

Sheba the border collie

Ever since I was little, I had always wanted a dog. Well, in fact in my wildest fantasy I wanted to keep a tiger, a leopard, a monkey, a horse, and a puppy. In fact I did have them at one time, every night I would go to sleep surrounded by them and felt safe. Yeah, they were my pillows and bolster. I had assigned each of them an animal role. I guess that didn't really make me a nerd or freak, right? I mean isn't it absolutely normal for kids to have imaginative friends right? Whatever.

Anyway, I reckoned a dog would be most possible to happen. However, my mum never allowed us to keep any furry animals, because 4 out of 6 members in our family were asthmatic, regardless the fact that had never been the trigger for our attacks. It wasn't until high school has we really had a pup for a very brief period. It was an abandoned pup we found at hawker center that kept following us. We brought it home and by then we were too old and bold to ignore my mum's protest. It was a mixed breed of Rottweiler and it was absolutely adorable. I named it Coco. Only problem was the fleas. But we bought medicine and believed given some times, it would be cured. However, there was another bigger problem. No matter how happy Cocoa was playing with us during day time, at night, it would cry and whine all night. After a week or so, my gramma had enough of it and ordered us to send it back to where we found it. I didn't know why we hadn't insisted. It was sad and heart breaking to leave Coco behind and drove away. I couldn't look into her inquisitive eyes that seemed to ask: why? After that, I never had any other pet.

It's sad to admit to myself that till now, I still can't afford to have one yet. Let's see why. First I'm still living in rented place; second my parents are not really a dog lover so I don't think it's fair for me to get one and have them take care of it for me; third the dog would be awefully lonely and depressed to be left alone when everyone is gone for work most of the time...... These might sound like excuses but that's true. Having a dog isn't about having someone to wag it's tail when you are home from work, or something cuddly to hug when you are in the mood. A dog should be treated like a friend, a companion, for that's what they really are. Just like kids. Don't say things like a family isn't complete without kids; or having kids can strengthen and enhance the relationship of married couples; or that's an obligation to continue the family's bloodline; yadda yadda yadda..... The only reason one should have kid(s) is to give all the love and happiness to the life/lives you have brought to this world. Period.

So don't keep a dog, or any pet, until you are ready to love him/her in return.

surreality

rootless lifeforms

Who would not, finding way, break loose from hell, . . . . And boldly venture to whatever place Farthest from pain? --Paradise Lost

If the origin of the pain is unidentified, how would you know which direction leads to the Farthest place?

If life is but a dream, would you rather wake up sooner, later, or never?

romance drowned

How can the commercialisation of St Valentine's Day be stopped?

When will them so-called lovers realise romance is dying...

character

chinese caligraphy art work in an antique shop in Malacca

There's such saying that you can tell a man's character from his handwriting.

My handwriting is terrible.

I wonder if it means i have terrible character or that i am a terrible character.

Maybe both.

what i need

a little more passion

a little more sunshine

post note: after i posted this entry, it kept raining on me, well, on the entire Singapore and Malaysia in fact, and flooded many places...oops..

lesson learned: i'm jinxed, i shldn't simply wish for anything :(

the scent of happiness

My favourite fragrance: clinique happy series

been wearing 'em for over 5 years..my! how loyal i can be!

If there's a scent for happiness

i wonder how would it smell like

fruity? minty? citrus? floral?

imagination

Imaginative Manhattan City Skyline

from my bedroom window

--my latest daily dose of fantasy

I am imaginative. Heck, sometimes I even hallucinate.

I like to escape into my own make-believe fantasyville, where life and people were more interesting, eventful; where I can ride on the emotional roller coasters, again and again, before I have to come back down to the piece of land called earth.

And I'll still be the same self-controlled me when I'm back.

Down to earth.

hang loose

Been a little too uptight recently.

I need to unwind and loosen up myself, to chill and to take it easy...

I know I do.

And I wish I know how.

p.s. Gosh, I'm such a whiner!

distance apart

How far apart is considered far?
And how close together is considered close?

in the alley

stair case advertising

a diifferent advertising approach

creative but not necessary effective

Marketing 101:

The essential components of a Good Advertisement -

1. RIGHT message

2. RIGHT channel

3. RIGHT audience

4. RIGHT timing

Absolutely common sense right? But still we see thousands of sucky advertisements and wonder where had the advertisers left their common sense at?

p/s: the advertisement shown is bad (because it's not effective) but not the worst, at least it didn't cost!

mission impossible

books..if only i have all the money and time

Who ever said where there's a will, there's a way, was obviously wrong. Wrong as in it's not a fact, it may be true in certain circumstances, but not always. And a truth requires the hyppthesis to be 100% correct all the time.

So if someone tells you there's no such thing as mission impossible, I say you can tell him in his face that's bullshit.

To prove my theory, let's take reading for example. I say no one can ever finish reading ALL the published material in the world. This (refering to one being able to finish reading all published material in the world) can only be possible if ALL the following assumptions are achieved:

1. A person can access to ALL the published material in the world without missing a single copy out.

2. A person understand ALL the languages of the published material. One must read all the different translation of a same work as long as it's published.

3. A person has to be immortal so he/she will have unlimited time to read ALL the published as well as going-to-be-published work continuously.

4. A person's reading speed must be faster (a lot) than the publishing speed so he/she not only can finish reading all the published works but also able to keep up with the speed of the never-ending new publishing.

5. Still thinking but i think the 4 mentioned above are sufficient to prove my theory right.

So i say, "where there's a will, there's not always a way". Prove me wrong!

world of concrete

each day tress are fallen

lands are reclaimed

to make way for civilization

for a better place to live

oh

what a wonderful

world of concrete

in a state of confusion

a night shot of street lights from a moving car

Sometimes I wonder, if confussion is caused by not thinking straight enough, or by having thought too much. Our mind is such a funny, complicated thing I don't think I'll ever understand fully..not even my own thoughts. I always get lost in my own sea of thoughts. Just like now, I have something on my mind but I couldn't put 'em down in words..and the harder I tried, the further they seem to be drifting away..I decided to give up, and admit that I'm confused now. Just like when you're having a panic attack, it's better to stop fighting it and just let it come, knowing that it won't last forever.

Urghh!!!! i better stop..getting more and more incoherent....

battered old jeep

abandoned or still in use?

a real proud you must have been

all sparkling and brand new

a true warrior you must have been

to have seen the sunshines and the storms

a sturdy friend you must have been

to have gone through all the thicks and thins

but now

you're just a useless piece of metal

abandoned and all forgotten

are you waiting for your time to come

or

are you hoping he would take a look at you again

and recount all the glorious past you two had shared